A Statement About the Best Christmas Movies (a much happier post)

'Tis the season for watching all of the movies that your mother banned for the past year, because watching Christmas movies all year round is the number one way to make them 'less special.' Since coming back from galavanting, I have been on a movie mission, not just watching Christmas films, but film series and oft-neglected films in my collection. Some of them are distinctly un-Christmas-like (Star Wars, anyone?) but some create nice background while doing things like working or baking. The moral of the story is that Christmas is a really good time for catching up on your film-watching: the kids are on vacation, finals are over, and there is only so much conversation one can have with visiting family before going completely insane.

'So,' you ask, 'What are the best films to watch at Christmastime?' Well, that is a very different question from 'What are the best Christmas films?' Obviously there are the classics, It's a Wonderful Life, White Christmas etc. But I submit that there are some less obvious ones that rarely get their due consideration-- Meet Me in St. Louis and The Muppet Family Christmas (not to mention A Muppet Christmas Carol) to name a few. Also, a good Christmas movie does not really need to carry strong Christmas themes; my feeling is that anything epic and fun and magical works very well. The Lord of the Rings trilogy, the Pirates of the Caribbean films, even Star Wars... in otherwords, anything that is universally loved that can be watched while the family is recovering from massive amounts of food and gift overload.

So happy watching, Happy Christmas, and all that jazz. I promise to come back happier in the New Year if you promise to write to the AMTP and tell them they are morons.

A Statement About the Golden Globe Nominations

Wow. I don't want to talk about it.

A Statement About Why It's Been A While (Again...)

OK, so here's the thing: There is nothing going on. And the little that is going on is depressing and terrible and means that Televisionland is heading toward some kind of irreconcilable shift. Let's recap: The producers say the writers are being hyper-demanding babies, and the writers are saying the producers are being cheap bastards. Fair enough on both counts. The fact that neither side is willing to give in enough to attempt to fix what will now be not one, but two disrupted seasons of television (at least), and save an industry that is already having serious problems, is mind blowing in it's sheer selfish stubborn-ness.

Also, there is a speculation that ths Oscars are going to be cancelled (theoretically they can go on, but I assume Jon Stewart is a member of the WGA, which means he probably can't even take on the monumental job of writing the show by himself... he'd might be all right if he jumped on stage and ad-libbed the whole thing...) ANYWAY, saying the Oscars will be cancelled is like telling me Christmas is cancelled and I can't have a birthday for 10 years. I'm not pleased.

To stave of depression, everyone is hereby ordered to go see Juno, because as soon as she is allowed to write again, Diablo Cody is going to be the Next Big Thing. That is, if they ever put the thing in wide release. Whatever.



(Sorry, I hope to come back and talk about the best Christmas films in a much more cheerful manner sometime in the very near future).

A Statement About Why Beowulf is the Worst Movie I Have Seen in a Long Time

Maybe the title is a bit harsh, but that does not stop it from being true. The epic retelling of the most epic piece of literature in the English language is something I have been looking forward to for a long time; while slightly more primitive than The Odyssey or even The Iliad, Beowulf is bloody, scary, and fairly straightforward. A far simpler story to tell to the ADD generation, while still containing all of the requisite elements that keep these sorts of things 'interesting.'

Which is exactly where the film goes awry. Visually it is stunning, and in particular the ending battle with a dragon is one of the more visually and artistically progressive pieces of work I have seen since LOTR. The problem is , though, that the director and writers were so busy making the film into a visual masterpiece that they forgot to make it interesting. There is nothing riveting or suspenseful or even vaguely compelling about the film, and that is the most unforgiveable aspect of the entire blunder.

Call me a traditionalist, but I remain highly skeptical of this motion capture business. Not when it comes to individual aspects of a live-action film (Andy Serkis' performance as Gollum remains one of the most spellbinding in recent memory), but rather, when the entire film gets this treatment. I get the progressive-ness of the whole thing (Look! Crispin Glover suddenly becomes a horrible monster! Angelina is naked... Only not!) but I still fail to see why it is better than having real actors in the same roles. Particularly in a story like Beowulf, when a real presentation of the human condition would have been much more effective. Grendel was scary and horrible, and using motion capture for his character was the perfect thing to do. But do we really need Robin Wright-Penn to be generated as well? And John Malkovich? I mean, if you're just going to make them look like disaffected versions of themselves, what is the point?

All of this is to say nothing of the writing (I don't think there is a single line in the whole thing where someone doesn't say 'Beowulf') and the very plausible lack of chemistry between the computer animated characters. Beowulf the myth is bloody and gory and terrifying, and the opportunity wasted to make it so in this film is a staggering loss. Beowulf strips down naked to fight Grendel, something probably historically (read: mythologically) accurate, but the scene then becomes 'How many ways can we hide his penis through ridiculous and improbable placement of inanimate objects?' and loses all credibility as a genuinely mythic fight scene.

I understand that we are making giant leaps in technology and filmmaking, but between the strike and this film, we seem to have taken a giant leap backward.

A Statement About Why the WGA Strike is Bad

OK, so like, you know there is a strike on, and you know they need to fix it, like, soon. Seriously soon.

The writers have a point. Obviously the writers have a point. In an era where reality TV is ridiculously prominent and great (hell, even good) scripted shows are hard to come by, they deserve to be fully compensated for their efforts. The advent of the TV-on-DVD concept (one of my favorite things EVER) has opened the door for more people to be seeing the shows these writers are creating, and it means more potential profits for the networks from each show. (I speak mostly about TV because that is what is mainly affected. The movies will be fine in the interim. Hell, even if the studios start producing crap, who will notice?)

But, in the immortal words of Gob Bluth, COME ON! Abbreviated seasons of the shows that we love that are actually good? The Daily Show going off the air effective immediately? This is completely unacceptable. The good thing is, at least, that the writers recognize that the viewers are the ones who keep them in business, and are thus looking to end their action as soon as possible. Let's just hope the producers cooperate.

And a special shout-out to Stephen Colbert, who, instead of letting the strike effect his show, 'voluntarily' took it off the air to recover from his failed presidential run. Genius.

A Statement About Strange Trends

This is just a quick note to speak about the curious fact that the 3 best films I have seen this year have centered on pregnant women. Not only that, but all three pregnancies are unwanted and unplanned. The fact that all three of these films can also be classified as comedies makes this even stranger.

Knocked Up, the first of these films I saw (first by a scant 48 hours) is of course the Judd Apatow super-comedy that was the perfect piece of counter-programming for the summer of the threequel. The couple do live happily ever after a long and hormonal courtship. The A-word is never mentioned, and actually, neither of the A-words are mentioned; the girl simply has the baby and builds her life around it.

Waitress which came 2 days later is about, shockingly, a waitress who gets pregnant after a bout of drunken (and unplanned) sex with her domineering, chauvanistic husband. While there are moments in this film of jolting poignancy and soul-searching, the overall tone is light and bright, and once again termination and adoption are never considered.

Juno, the third film in this series that I had the pleasure to view this evening, is about a 16-year-old high school student who gets pregnant after her awkward first encounter with the boy who will become her high school sweetheart. Both of the A-words are mentioned, considered, and (nearly) carried out (I'll let you guess which one she doesn't do). While less raunchy than Knocked Up and certainly more intellectual, I would venture to say that this is actually the funnier film.

So what does it all mean? We have three unwanted pregnancies from disasterous one-night stands, three happy (though different) endings, and three fully developed, strong, admirable female characters. Two of the films were directed by men. There is something here about a new-wave of feminist development, the idea that while men are not necessary, when we have a choice they are nice to have, and something about acceptance of new liberal attitudes (the films end with an unwed couple, a single mother, and two happily 'sexually active' teenagers, respectively), but I am just too tired to complete the thought.

More later.

A Statement About The Office, and Why It Is Amazing

It occurs to me that in the time I have been writing this sad excuse for a blog, I have not mentioned The Office, one of my favorite but seldom-mentioned shows.

'Why is it seldom-mentioned?' you ask? Well, to begin with, it is not an under-watched show, which you all know I am much happier to talk about. The Office has a healthily obsessed audience with more than healthy ratings, and, quite frankly, the support of every critic in the country. It doesn't need me to tell you how good it is, or to tell you to watch it on DVD.

However, this does not diminish its awesome-ness. I had the misfortune to miss the first and second seasons on TV (the first due to an ignorant refusal to watch what was sure to be a 'bad remake,' and the second due to the fact that I was abroad). Thusly, I watch them a season behind on DVD. Thusly, I am only now wrapping up the stellar and hilarious Season 3.

The truest mark of its quality, in my mind, is the appreciation that most Brits have for it, a sure sign that the American adaptors are doing something right. The British Office ran for 2 very short seasons and ended with a Christmas Special, but the fact that the American writers are in the middle of their fourth, much longer, season (with still amazing reviews) shows that they have successfully taken the formula and made it their own.

How? Further development of secondary characters, more delving into the personal lives of the characters (without losing the office itself as the focal point) and, of course, Steve Carell. Steve Carell owes the beginning of his career to the Daily Show (http://www.thedailyshow.com/ search 'Even Stevphen. Yes, spelled like that), and his ascent into the upper echelons of comedy to The Office. As long as he remembers that and sticks around, I don't see how they can go wrong.


PS- There's also the improv-actors as secondary characters thing, and letting the actors run the show thing, but that's another story for another time.

A Statement About the Rugby

Yes, the rugby. I'm sorry, but there is little else to write about at the moment (although I did go to a London Film Festival event this afternoon, but I feel it would be better to comment on the Festival as a whole at another time).

So, tomorrow England will play South Africa in the Rugby World Cup Final. It should be noted that since meeting the aforementioned Ginger in 2005, when not disparaging new, innovative franchises, he only speaks of the 2003 England World Cup victory. I also have to add that until about 2 weeks ago, I saw no evidence that England was a world-class team. At all. And then Jonny Wilkinson took the pitch.

Having been plagued by injury almost constantly since that legendary 2003 drop-goal, I had never seen him play until 3 weeks ago. His presence on the field electrified the England side-- suddenly they were better, stronger, faster, and they quickly dispensed with one of the most feared teams in the tournament (that would be the Australians. Good bye wallabies!)

At any rate, a month ago you could not have convinced ANYONE that the English would make it to the final (or that the French would beat the All Blacks, or that the two would meet in one seriously breathtaking semi-final match), but tomorrow, they have a chance at winning. Seriously.


(NOTE: This has not, repeat HAS NOT turned into a sports column. I just needed to state my case. Thank you.)

And a shout out to Josh Lewsey, second only to Jonny in hotness, who scored that INSANE try in the first 2 minutes of the France match, but who will be on the bench due to injury. We will miss you.

A Statement About the Merits of the New Bond Franchise (and another post to keep 'the masses' happy)

The other night after getting into an argument with a certain Ginger (aka 'The One who is usually wrong about all things cinematic') about the new Bond film, Casino Royale, and then after having to watch it again to prove him wrong (again), some things occurred to me that I feel compelled to share with all of you readers out there.

Here's the thing: The next Bond film is the twentieth. I believe that the title is even something like 'Bond: 20.' This makes him undoubtedly one of the most enduring characters in cinematic history. While the franchise revamp was extremely controversial, I am forced to point out that it was one of the smartest things MGM could have done. By recreating the character, by starting fresh with the raw, original Bond (and with someone who can actually act as opposed to showing up and being charismatic), they have ensured our interest for at least the next five installments, further ensuring Bond's legendary status.

Unlike the Ginger, I am in full support of unformed, untutored Bond and the fact that we now get to watch this fascinating character find himself again. Bring it on.

Well...

OK, so once again it's been a bit longer than I like between posts, but lots of things are happening, and, well, there's not much we can do about that.

It is now time for a lecture about how amazing the film Juno is going to be. Let's review: The director of Thank You For Smoking. Jennifer Garner. Jason Bateman. Michael Cera. And Dwight from The Office. ALL IN ONE MOVIE. It seems almost too good to be true that all of my favorite people are going to be in the same place at the same time, and that, in fact, Jason and Jennifer are HUSBAND AND WIFE. Everyone ever must go see this film or we cannot be acquaintances anymore.

I suppose that's all for now. Shall make a valiant effort to ensure that there is less than 2 weeks between posts next time.

It's Been a While...

It's been a while since my last post because I have had a multitude of changes in life, not the least of which was the start of my internship with Shorts International. Having watched at least 30 short films in the last week, I certainly have a new appreciation for the genre, which was not one I particularly cared for before.

A lot of the better films I have watched are avaiable on iTunes at the moment, my personal favourite being Speed for Thespians, which is one of the more clever things I have seen done in quite sometime. If you have the time and $1.99, you should definitely look it (and others) up.

However, now that I'm back in a groove, I will try to write more. The problem, of course, is that I am no longer finding US television culture quite as accessible as before. If things get desperate, though, I can always start reciting all the new things I know about rugby.

Alias Finale

OK, so I'm a year late, but I finally just finished watching Alias Season 5. Here's the thing: Alias is one of my all-time favorite shows and Sydney Bristow is one of the best female characters written in the last 7 years. I don't think that can be disputed.

Was Season 5 spectacular? No. That superlative belongs to Season 2, which undisputedly redefined television. Without Alias (first 2 seasons) there would be no Lost, no Heroes, and no ANY show with in-depth, complicated storylines that require viewers' undivided attention. Season 5 does, however, get the job done. Even with the absence of Michael Vaughn, the show manages Sydney's pregnancy with flying colors, not allowing it to get in her way while treating it realistically.

The series finale is at once satisfying and not; the ending for Jack Bristow is pretty perfect while Sydney and Vaughn walking out into the sunset with their children is everything we ever wanted for the two of them. Totally worth it.

10 Best Arrested Development Lines

10. 'Mr. F.'
9. 'She's not that Mexican, mom. She's my Mexican.'
8. 'Did I day "snog" again? Bloody Hell.'
7. 'And that's why you always leave a note.'
6. 'Alias is a show about a spy!'
5. 'I've made a huge mistake.'
4. 'Real shoddy narrating. Just plain crap.'
3. 'Hey possible nephew.'
2. 'I think he's hiding Anne in the attic.' 'From who, the Nazis?'
1. 'Loose seal!!'

New Age of Scandal?

After reading the August 31 Entertainment Weekly cover story about our 'Summer of Scandal,' there are a couple of things I feel compelled to point out. First and foremost, let me say that I have been reading EW since I was 12 and really have a hard time getting through a Friday afternoon without the latest issue. For the most part, the magazine does an excellent job of looking at new pop culture and filmmaking while having a robust appreciation for the Hollywood of the past.

Which is what makes the new issue slightly strange. One of their commentators notes a 'new age of bad girls,' while a later article lists Woody Allen marrying Soon Yi Previn as one of the more scandalous scandals of the last 25 years. While this certainly may be the case, it is not exactly an original scandal. To talk about Woody and Soon Yi and not mention their predecessors, Charlie Chaplin and Oona O'Neill, is to deny Hollywood scandal at its origins. To talk about Lindsay Lohan and not acknowledge the original self-destructive bombshell Marilyn Monroe is to completely ignore the fact that starlets have been making desperate fools of themselves since before the word was invented. And to say the words Angelina Jolie when discussing scandal and not add the words Elizabeth and Taylor immediately afterward makes it seem as though astonishingly beautiful, amazing (if homewrecking) actresses have not existed before the year 2005.

The question is not whether or not these are new, troubling phenomena, but what has changed about our culture that we care so much more.

A Statement About the Merits of Battlestar Galactica

It should be noted that I consider myself an aficionado of short-run, prematurely cancelled television programming (hello, Arrested Development!), and Battlestar Galactica is the most recent addition to my roster of must-watches. After resisting for about a year, I finally caved and asked my local library to order it for their permanent collection, and was instantly hooked by the socio-political-SciFi-ness of it all. And here's the thing: the Sci-Fi-ness can be completely overlooked. In fact, it's not even the most important thing about the show. The most important thing is the overall statement being made about Cylons (identical machines that may or may not have human characteristics) as the symbolic terrorists, and the moral dilemma posed to the people and their treatment of these murderous (but just?) beings. Fascinating.
It should be noted that Battlestar Galactica has not been prematurely cancelled by a network, but producers recently announced that season 4 will be the last. I might have to write soon about the merits of shorter, better quality shows on TV.

Initial Post

Well, I guess I better say something since I just started this blog... I have no idea what I want to accomplish here, maybe just the occasional movie review post, although it will not be limited to movies... Books will appear also. No music-- I don't do music. So let's get this party started, or something.